i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
Randomize
