it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
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