I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
No I am not eating basil off your cock
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
Randomize
