I need help removing her.
I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Randomize
