is your mom at the bar?
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
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