what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
There are leaves in my underwear?
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