Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
Randomize
