Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
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