idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
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