Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
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