what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
Can you repeat that, but with context?
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
Randomize
