This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
we should paint friendship bongs
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
Randomize
