You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
Randomize
