Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
Redeem this text for a blowjob
how do flat chested girls get laid?
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
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