Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
Randomize
