I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
I swear she didn't look like that last week.
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
Randomize
