Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
