Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
I'm like, not good at living.
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
Randomize
