There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
Holy shit dude........stairs
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
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