Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
Less talking, more tequila
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
i out mim tonsoeep
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