I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
Randomize
