Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
Randomize
