What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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