i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
Randomize
