Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
Randomize
