dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
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