I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
Randomize
