Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
Randomize
