Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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