I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
Randomize
