toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
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