it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
Randomize