:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize
