when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize
