should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
Randomize
