Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
Randomize
