Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Randomize
