wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
Randomize
