Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
Randomize
