Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Randomize