he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
