Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
