I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
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