Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
I really don't understand how I cannot figure out how to work a fucking can opener when I'm hungover. Yet I still retained the ability to take a perfectly symmetrical picture of my erect penis and send it to every person in Matt's contacts the night before.
I queefed so loud it echoed.
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
