dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Randomize
