so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize
