please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
Randomize
