Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
she told me i tasted like america
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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