Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
