capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
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