Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
Randomize
