wat bout pragnant strippers??
Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
I just cut my nipple shaving
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
