Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Randomize
