But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
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