I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
Randomize
