do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
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