on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
