i just google imaged poop.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
