pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
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