I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
Randomize
