I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
Randomize
