Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
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