Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
Randomize
