YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Randomize
